Letting it kill me…

I’ve been relaxing and decompressing after all the stress of my move and it seems wasn’t doing so hot. I picked up the TV remote and let it start to kill me.

The more I tried to decompress the more tightly I’m wound up. I decided to try and lay low, to just settle into my new place for a couple of weeks without going out much, without getting amped up about making too many contacts. This decision came as I noticed setting up house was expensive, and I could in fact be flat broke. So my last two weeks have been a lot of netflix and a few cocktails, more cookies than I care to mention, and all of this basically because I was just waiting for my first round of bills to come in. If I survived in good shape then I can be a bit more liberal with my time, I can hand out flyers that say, “I’M HERE! COME PLAY WITH ME!” And now that I know I’m not completely and totally broke, I feel… no different.

This of course is not at all genuinely surprising. This is really a moment when after getting a little burnt out on the stress of moving house (and having a place that is completely and totally my own for the first time) I’ve given in to my resistance. I’m nervous and uncomfortable in social situations with new people, and now there is more staked on that than usual because I’ve moved to this city so that I could start at least one major professionally creative endeavor. I have not been CREATING since I’ve come here, but having had this realization its time to fix it. 

Perhaps in a subconscious victory over my resistance (thats called jiu-sistance*), I have been wasting my time in progressively better ways over the last week or so. Reading more about business practices and marketing and being a creative than about congressional gridlock and wizards defeating daemons, sounds like a step in the right direction, but really its still kind of a cop out. Yeah, I have a lot of learning to do, and reading about people who were me not that long ago is a path to that. However, What do these people write about? Mistakes.

Mistakes. Mistakes. Mistakes. Does preparation yield mistakes? No. Although being ill-prepared can make them all the more spectacular. Does reading about other’s experience yield mistakes? No. Only action yields mistakes, and mistakes lead to learning. So its time to get creating. Its time to start making mistakes. Its time to start learning. Its time to pick up something I love and let it start killing me.

If you need a creative pick me up today, go read this from James Rhodes:


If you’ve seen it before go read it again. If you haven’t seen it before and you don’t think you need that pick me up today, YOU ARE PROBABLY WRONG, read it NOW!

*jiu-sistance is a thing I made up to make myself feel better about my cleverly harnessing the intent and thrust of my creativity into high-level resistance and procrastination. Use it as you like.


Post no Bills

Last week I had the great opportunity to shoot again with the great folks at Dates Like This. They introduced me to a couple of new characters and we made these pictures for some more of their image assets. The two guys you see here are the fictional band “Post no Bills” in a storyline continuing from season 1 of the web series. Owing to some heavy rain, the plan for outdoor environmental portraits was re-imagined last minute, complete with a change of location.

The need to stay loose and free with my expectations was great, and with the help of the director for Dates Like This we got some pictures I am really proud of. I am always thankful to get to work with a director, because my experience as an actor taught me it never hurts to have an extra pair of eyes. 

Check out Dates Like This on their website DatesLikeThisSeries.com, follow them on twitter @DLTSeries, watch season 1 and get excited for more heartfelt romantic comedy. If you like them, contribute to their fundraising at IndieGoGo.

Friends, Success, and Surprises

Recently I was privileged to travel to the exotic isle of Manhattan to bask in the dark of a trendy coffee shop and the wet of the streets after a long freeze. And I had been invited by some lovely old friends… that (not the common romanticism of New York City) made it worthwhile. The friends in question are not only beautiful, and colorful artists of my own stripe, but are launching a new project. 

Better said, they are unexpectedly extending an old project with some new and very exciting help. I had the great opportunity to photograph them for some promotional material they are preparing in the whirlwind of rejuvenating a project with great haste. The shots we did were my favorite kinds, the small details and moments that tell and color the stories of our lives. These women were fantastic models and we had a lot of fun shooting but the real excitement is yet to come. They have just announced a new round of funding and a new partnership with ZiZ Comedy Channel on YouTube. 

The first season of their series (which you can find out all about at DatesLikeThisSeries.com) was a wonderfully funny independent project. It even netted them a shout out on NewMediaWeekly. SO, go watch the first season if you haven’t at DatesLikeThisSeries.com and help build their next one at indiegogo.com

And here is a sneak a little taste, of the pictures we got:

An Interesting Read

I came across this post from drkellyflanagan.com earlier in the week called, “Marriage is for Losers”, and enjoyed it immensely. I’m not married, and I’m certainly no psychology buff, but I think the ideas he writes about here, pertain to any important relationship.  He turns some use of certain words on their ear but the effect is a good one. His final points have reinforced my belief in the importance of the people who surround me and the ways we can better each other. Enjoy.

Thoughts that Summer Nights were Made for

Last night was one of those beautiful cool and breezy summer nights. The ones that make you think it just might rain, but then it never does. It was a night with some destination in mind, though I had none. The kind of night when the most anyone could ask for is a slow and quiet stroll to the water’s edge with an old friend who knows your struggles before you explain them. I was not lucky enough to have such a friend in tow last night but I was listening to Alexi Murdoch’s album, Time Without Consequence. And as the soothing chords of the “Orange Sky” collided with the feelings that the wind had stirred in me, I could feel the distinct pull of clarity.I’ve written a bit in the past about people who have the power to further humanize each other and themselves through communication and art, or through simple shared experience. I will give this song, “Orange Sky” as an example and an explanation. It is a fairly simple song in orchestration and melody, but it points to the greatest meanings of our lives. The song is one about love and family, and the ways we can as brothers and sisters at once absolve and lift each other up. The final hook of the song, “my salvation lies, in your love” has clear religious connotations, but the ache and joy is universal. It is not a song strictly about dearest friendships, or family, or romantic love. Instead it calls directly to a sort of kinship of spirit that does not know these distinctions.
After hearing the song last night I had to call a friend to ask if she knew it. She did, and said it’s one of her current favorites. I thought about our relationship and this song, and how it’s words could help me frame the things I can’t pin down. And this lead me to the ways I believe we can become more human. There is a quiet and darkened part of me which my friend and I seem to share in common. The kind of thing that we have never needed to explain to each other, but rather one we never could. It’s the sort of thing that you can hardly begin to understand in yourself but makes all the sense in the world in someone else. This is a principle by which art works. It is the principle which makes what actors and poets and musicians do seem like magic. It is why what these artists do is so brave, to extend to the world, in good and open faith, a piece of themselves which they cannot fully understand. This is done with the trust that we are all the same and that audience and public and loved ones and friends will see the things they cannot understand more clearly.
Who does this make you think of?

Thanks for reading.

You can find Alexi Murdoch’s Time Without Consequence, on iTunes